CUCUMBER UMBRELLA NECTARINE TELEPHONE. THE BIZARRE NEW BOOK BY OMAR GUFTZ. ADULTS ONLY.

Cucumber, Umbrella, Nectarine, Telephone, the first novel I have encountered by Omar Guftz. What can I say about this book? It’s completely crazy, and definitely NOT for anyone easily offended, those under 18 or of poor mental health. Cucumber, if anything, scores amongst the highest marks ever awarded for originality: I have experienced nothing like it before, ever. The book contains nudity, themes of incest, murder, bad language, a stuffed animal that helps people and more. Omar transforms an ordinary shopping list into a work of art, and shows us pictures from what he believes to be Tokyo in the year 2363. We also learn about Debbie and her farm of assholes.

Cucumber, Umbrella, Nectarine, Telephone is a bizarre read that you will return to for a cheap giggle when you feel bored of reading the same type of books all the time. This book is suitable for those with a broad sense of humour- you will either find it funny or you won’t. At times, I nearly wet myself with laughter, and my close friends didn’t even find it funny!

Omar Guftz is a genius who has created a type of novel unlike anything I have ever read before. I don’t even know how to classify this book, except for bizarre, weird yet strangely hilarious fiction. At times I almost fell over laughing and at others I was left completely baffled.

This book is perfect for a rainy afternoon, or as a companion on a crappy train journey, for example. Mind blowing stuff.  One thing is for certain, nobody else you know will have this book yet, so why not break the mold? This book is like going to a freakshow- you will be transformed, for certain, if nothing else. If you’ve had a bad day, or you suddenly wake up at 4 AM and can’t get back to sleep, this is the sort of book you need. Unapologetically bizarre and hilarious.